


He's His Lobster

by fellfromgrxce (grxcelyt)



Category: Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Supernatural, game of thrones
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 08:41:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11158269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grxcelyt/pseuds/fellfromgrxce
Summary: Wow, this chapter was immensely long and boring. I didn't actually intend to feature Destiel here, (it was supposed to be tronnor) but eh. It makes much more sense with Dean and Castiel. You'll see. Anyway, I hope you don't hate me for this garbage and that you'll still read the upcoming chapters.PS : I'm sorry about the T&S reference, I just had to.





	1. 'why did i have to be so stupid'

Dan closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. He gripped the railing, his long fingernails scraping the peeling paint. 'Life is such a train wreck', Dan thought.

He opened his eyes and surveyed the quaint little garden overlooked by the balcony he was standing on. His eyes lingered on the little girl watering the shrubs. She wore a jersey with "ECO CLUB" painted onto it. Dan smiled.

He used to be part of the Eco Club. Oh, how fun it was; looking after the little saplings and watch them grow into plants. It was so interesting. Dan wished he had never left the club. He closed his eyes once more, blocking out all the unpleasant memories that were flooding back.

"Daniel?"

Dan turned around, quick as lightning. He'd recognize that angelic voice anywhere.

"Yeah, Ph-Phil", he said, his voice trembling, caught a bit off guard. He quickly regained composure. "Call me Dan. 'Daniel' is too formal."

"Oh, alright then, Dan!" Phil said, his lips curving into a brilliant grin.

Fireworks went off inside Dan's heart; and his brain was exasperated by Dan's irrational feelings. Again.

Phil Lester, the raven-haired 14 year old in Dan's History class was one of the most stunning boys Dan had ever seen. Dan could not stop staring at him during class, admiring his gorgeous eyes that seemed to change colour; Dan could never decide if they were blue or green.

Dan himself wasn't that bad-looking, as his friends repeatedly told him. He had quite a number of female admirers, but little did they know that the shy, soft-spoken brown-haired boy had fallen for the loud, cheerful Philip Lester; and boy, had he fallen hard.

"So, I just bumped into Mr. Ackles in the corridor and he said that the topics for the quiz competition are going to arrive tomorrow!" Phil said, waving his hands enthusiastically while speaking.

Dan internally face-palmed. He was such an idiot. During last week's History class, Dan had been staring at Phil, as always, when Phil suddenly stood up. Alerted, Dan stood up as well, assuming they had been asked to stand up. To his utter embarrassment, Phil had stood up to volunteer for a quiz competition. So now, Dan was forced to compete in a quiz competition with the boy he had an immense crush on.

"Oh, that's great. Thanks for letting me know", Dan said, forcing a smile onto his face.

"You're welcome", Phil said, smiling again. Dan smiled back, not sure how to continue the conversation.

"So, I'll see you around then?" Phil said, his tone hopeful. Dan nodded. Phil smiled once more before turning around and running down the corridor. A couple of seconds later, the metallic clang of the school bell announced the end of recess, and Dan made his way to his English class sighing deeply.

"Now I can't back out, can I?" Dan muttered to himself. "Damn it, why did I have to be so stupid?"

 


	2. 'lester did you just'

"Oh. My. God."

Phil rolled his eyes, a little smile already forming on his face. "Dean Winchester, you're a lovesick fool."

Dean, Phil's best friend was in the middle of a complete freak-out. The boy was smoothing down his blonde hair, hoping his crush wouldn't notice him.

"Oi, CASTIEL!" Phil yelled, catching the brunette boy's attention.

"I am going to murder you in your sleep, you absolute - " Dean told Phil through gritted teeth as Cas made his way to them, a coffee cup in his hands.

"Hello, boys", he said, giving the two a slight smile.

Dean's eyes were wide and bright, his mouth agape. Phil chuckled softly, sticking his tongue out.

"Why are you laughing?" Cas asked, slightly confused. He tilted his head to his side, a little similar to the actions of a puppy.

Dean snapped out of his trance and turned to glare at Phil, his green eyes filled with fury.

Phil was about to make a witty remark, when he noticed Daniel enter the café out of the corner of his eye.

"Um, I need to leave. See you then, Castiel", Phil said, tapping Cas on the shoulder before leaving his best friend with his crush to go talk to the slightly frustrated Dan Howell.

"Dammit, I could've sworn I had my wallet in Geography Class..." Dan muttered, rummaging through his galaxy backpack, searching for his wallet.

"Sir, the caramel macchiato is ready -"

"Just a moment, I'm having trouble finding my wallet..." Dan said, holding up one finger while rummaging through his backpack, furiously with his left hand.

"Hi, Dan!" Phil said loudly from behind Dan, startling the boy so much that he dropped his bag.

"Shit, I'm sorry", Dan said, instantly bending to pick up his fallen notebooks.

Oh my God. Dan was absolutely mortified. He hastily shoved all his notebooks into his bag and slung it over his shoulder as quickly as he possibly could have.

"Thank you. Anything else?"

"Just a capuchinno", Phil said, smiling at the lady behind the counter. "Here you go", Phil said, handing Dan his drink.

"Ph-Phil, did you just pay for me?" Dan asked, his face turning into a deeper shade of crimson.

Phil waved his hand. "Oh, it's fine. Don't worry."

"Phil Lester, did you just-"

"Ssh", Phil said, picking up his own drink from the counter.

"PHIL -"

"If you aren't busy, maybe we can talk for a while?" Phil suggested, walking over to an empty table.

Dan was about to tell Phil that he actually had to leave and his mind was busy brewing an excuse when suddenly, a blonde boy slapped Dan on his shoulder.

"So, we finally meet. I'm Dean", the boy said, giving Dan a bright grin. Phil scrambled to stand from his seat, his composed facial expression replaced by wide eyes and blushing ears. "Dean!" He shouted, quickly joining the two.

Dan obviously knew Dean. Everyone from Truman High knew Dean Winchester. Dean was the most popular boy in the school, the leader of the gang of cool kids; the boy who was excellent in sports while being the class topper. Teachers adored him. Students either wanted to be around him all the time or were drowning in jealousy.

"Um, hello..." Dan said, a little perplexed by Dean's choice of words _. 'Finally meet'? What does he mean by "finally"? What's going on?_

"Dean, where's Cas?" Phil asked, visibly distressed.

"He had to leave." Dean explained, shrugging.

"Dean, don't you dare", Phil muttered under his breath, placing a hand over Dean's shoulder.

Dean gave Phil a mischievous grin, raising his eyebrows.

"Um, I think I should go",Dan began, his nails digging into his backpack as he gripped it tighter.

"But Phil w-" Dean began, but was rudely interrupted by Phil. "SHIT", Phil shouted, his eyes the size of the moon. ( _ay_ )

"Lester, did you just-" Dean said, turning around to see that Phil had accidentally dropped his cup of coffee.

"DAMN YOU TEENAGERS!"

"Shi...les", Phil murmured, as the lady behind the counter marched towards them in absolute fury.

"YOU KIDS HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH WORK GOES INTO MAKING THE COFFEE AND CLEANING IT UP AFTER YOU DROP THE CUPS ACCIDENTALLY I AM THIS CLOSE TO QUITTING..."

"I'm so, so, so sorry!" Phil apologised profusely. He shoved a dollar into the lady's hands before quickly slinging his bag over the shoulder and running out of the door.

"Philip Lester..." Dean said in an exasperated tone, after sighing loudly.

"I should go", Dan said, turning around. His hands were just about to open the door.

"Wait", Dean said, suddenly. Dan turned around, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Dan, you see...Phil, um..."Dean tried to explain, waving his hands around.

Dan gave Dean a quizzical look. "What?"

"Uh..." Dean bit his lip, before giving up. "Never mind, I just wanted to tell you that Phil thinks I have a crush on Castiel and I don't, okay?"

"Um, sure...?" Dan said, knowing that Dean had something else to say but didn't actually say it. "Bye."

He opened the door and walked out of the cafe into the freezing city of London. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat, feeling the cold metal of his house keys under his fingers. He loved this time of the year. He loved the cold dry wind against his face, and the wails of the wind as it blew past all the snow caked trees. He loved the pavement, buried in snow. He loved the little snowmen that children were creatin- _wait._

Dan's blood suddenly froze, his face draining color.

"PHIL?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this chapter was immensely long and boring. I didn't actually intend to feature Destiel here, (it was supposed to be tronnor) but eh. It makes much more sense with Dean and Castiel. You'll see. Anyway, I hope you don't hate me for this garbage and that you'll still read the upcoming chapters.
> 
> PS : I'm sorry about the T&S reference, I just had to.


	3. 'just five more minutes'

Phil woke up in cold sweat. He ran one hand through his hair and with his other hand he searched for his glasses. He couldn't see much now as he was nearly blind without his glasses.

"Phil..." Someone sighed, handing him his glasses. Phil placed his glasses over his nose and was thankfully able to see again.

In front of him, his brother Martyn stood, his hair messy and his eyes bloodshot. "Martyn!" Phil tried to say in a cheerful tone but the name came out in a hoarse and tired voice. Phil plastered a smile on his face instead to show his enthusiasm on seeing his brother again after three months.

"Phil, stop acting like you are not in a ridiculous amount of pain", Martyn said, sitting down on Phil's bed, carefully avoiding Phil's legs.

"Why am I in a hospital?" Phil asked, realising that he was tucked into an uncomfortable hospital bed with a drip attached to his wrist.

"Ew", he muttered, trying not to look at the drip inserted into his veins. He focussed his eyes on the figure curled up in the chair instead. The figure was completely covered in a blanket with only the nose sticking out of the blanket.

"And who is that?" Phil asked, pointing at the figure.

"You, my brilliantly clumsy brother, tripped on the ice and hit your head on the pavement", Martyn said.

"Wow", Phil muttered, trying not to chuckle at his own stupidity.

"Some kids tried to help you so that you weren't lying unconscious in the middle of the road and Daniel Howell", Phil's heart skipped a beat "rushed to your aid and so, you ended up in St. Gene hospital", Martyn explained.

"So, that's", Phil said, pointing at the figure in the chair, "Dan?"

Martyn nodded.

"Can I take off the drip?" Phil asked. Martyn looked at Phil and shrugged. "I'm not the doctor."

Phil removed the IV, it was just a saline drip after all. Martyn rushed to Phil to stop him from getting up from his bed, but Phil gently pushed him away.

"I'm fine", Phil insisted. Apart from feeling lightheaded, he really was fine. He stumbled to Dan and lowered the blanket from his face. Dan's thick lashes were resting upon his squishy cheeks. His lips were slightly open and his hair fell onto his forehead in the form of messy curls. Phil was taken aback by how adorable the boy looked. " _He should stop straightening his hair_ ", Phil thought.

Dan shifted slightly in his slumber and tugged at the blanket trying to cover his face.

"He's been here for two days", Martyn said, softly.

"Two days?" Phil asked, gently brushing away the curls that were falling onto Dan's eyes. He couldn't help it. Dan looked too adorable. He was sleeping as soundly as an infant.

Realization suddenly hit Phil. "Wait, _two day_ s?"

Martyn nodded, confused by the utterly horrified look on Phil's face. "The date's 14th of June."

Phil's eyes grew the size of the moon.

He threw the blanket off Dan before grabbing Dan's elbow and shaking him violently from his deep slumber.

"Just five more minutes, Adrien..." Dan mumbled, settling deeper into the cushions.

Phil closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

"DANIEL, WAKE UP", Phil bellowed, successfully waking up Daniel, and probably the entire hospital.

Dan jolted awake, his arms flailing as he tried to grip the falling chair; but failed. He toppled onto the dusty marble hospital floor.

"Phil, you're awake!" Dan exclaimed with relief, propping himself up on his elbows.

Martyn helped Dan get up, while Phil wordlessly rummaged through Dan's unattended bag.

"Wait, hey! Phil, what are you doing?" Dan leaped, defensively snatching his bag from Phil's hands. "Private possessions, man! You can't just -"

Phil glared at Dan. "Daniel, what's the date today?"

"14th...?" Dan said, utterly confused.

Phil did not break eye contact and glared further, waiting for the realization to strike.

Dan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. _Am I forgetting something_? "Fourteenth June, Fourteenth June," Dan mumbled under his breath.

"The First Level of the MKH Quiz", Martyn said softly, trying not to be audible enough for Phil to hear.

Realization dawned on Dan's face. His eyes grew in size, so huge that Phil thought they'd pop out of his eyesockets.

"SHIT PHIL", Dan hastily zipped his backpack and rushed over to the hospital's bedside table.

"Dan, what are you doing?! We're late, it's 5 AM and we have to be there by 7, and we are so late - wait how far is St. Gene's from - "

"Shut up, Phil", Martyn said, rolling his eyes.

"Martyn, we're literally - " Phil argued, simultaneously hunting for his shoes. He crouched to check under the beds.

"I know, you're 12 miles away from Merritt but that's only if you take a taxi."

Dan, now having found Phil's medications, slipped it into his bag, glared at Martyn. "Yes, let's just employ a bloody helicopter to take us there faster, am I right?"

Phil raised his eyebrows. Dan had completely shaken off his shy outer shell. "Martyn, are you suggesting we take the Ride?"

Martyn nodded, grinning at the two younger boys.

"Wait, what?" Dan asked, his brows furrowed in confusion. "The Ride? What the heck is the Ride?"

Phil ignored him and waddled over to his big brother to give him a hug. "Thanks."

"Just don't crash it, okay?" Martyn muttered, ruffling Phil's dark hair.

Phil nodded. "I'll try."

"What, do you own an airplane or something?" Dan asked, shuffling slightly on his feet.

"Come on Daniel, let's go." Phil said, tying his shoelaces.

"What the - "

Phil simply shook his head and walked out of the room and Dan jogged to catch up with the blue eyed boy. Phil turned back to check whether Daniel was following him or not. Giving Dan a lopsided grin, he broke into a full run his large feet stomping onto the hospital floor loudly, probably waking up the patients once more.

"Slow the hell down, yeah?" Dan panted, not able to catch up with Phil's rocket-like sprint. Phil came to a sudden halt and Dan steadied himself, trying not to topple onto Phil.

"What the actual - wait what", Dan started, but stopped abruptly when he noticed the sight at which Phil was beaming at.

"Isn't she beautiful!" Phil asked, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Are you kidding me", Dan yelled, shaking Phil by his shoulders. "Phil, that's a motorcycle!"

 


	4. 'i don't like this'

Dan's fingers dug into Phil's shoulders. Dan's eyes were shut tight and his long legs quivered slightly.

"Are you alright?" Phil asked, pulling on the brakes for the red light blinking at the end of the road. Phil winced at the pain in his shoulders but remained silent. "You're shaking, Dan."

"I don't like this", Dan whispered, his grip tightening.

Phil chuckled and gently rested his cheek on Dan's scrawny hand.

Dan opened his eyes slightly, only to find that they were now in motion; racing at 80 kmh. "SLOW DOWN, WILL YA? I DONT WANNA GO TO JAIL", Dan yelled over the wind whipping past them, firmly closing his eyelids.

"WE'RE CLOSE", Phil replied. Dan quickly opened his eyes to glance at his watch. _6:24 AM_

"WE STILL HAVE", Dan mentally calculated the time left, "ABOUT HALF AN HOUR LEFT, YOU CAN SLOW DOWN!"

Phil didn't reply back. Before Dan could say or do anything, the motorcycle came to a screeching halt.

Dan was thrown forward, colliding into Phil. Phil hit his forehead onto the clutch. "Ow, you're heavy!" Phil said, rubbing his forehead dramatically.

Dan glared at Phil. "You shouldn't be allowed to drive." Phil shrugged, giving Dan a sheepish grin. "I'm sorry about this drive. I'm usually good at -"

Phil was interrupted by a redhead who barreled at him and pulled him into a tight hug. "Oh, finally! I was worried you'd never come!"

"You make it sound like we're here for a party or something", Phil said, smiling at the girl.

"Who's this?" the girl asked, referring to Dan.

Dan felt jealousy bubble at the pit of his stomach. The girl was pretty; her ginger hair was braided into a simple plait which rested on her left shoulder. Even though she wore a simple blue shirt, she managed to  absolutely stunning.

"This is Daniel Howell", Phil introduced Dan to the girl. The girl smiled warmly. She stretched her hand out for a handshake.

"I'm Sansa Stark", she said, introducing herself.

Dan coldly shook Sansa's hand. "An odd name", Dan observed.

The redhead giggled. "I get that a lot." She turned to look at Phil.

Dan couldn't control his envy and curiosity. He simply had to know.

"Are you two dating?"

Dan was taken aback. The exact same words were on his lips, about to be spelt out, when Sansa spoke.

Dan shook his head. _Haha, I wish_.

"I don't know if you two wanna stay out here and freeze but I sure as hell can't stay out here in this cold weather for a minute longer", Phil said and briskly jogged up the stairs to Nymer High School's great oak doors.

Once the two were alone, Sansa whirled on Dan and gave him a grin.

"What?" Dan was puzzled.

"You love him", Sansa declared confidently.

"What, no I don-" Dan lied immediately.

"No use lying to me. I know that look on your face. That's the face of someone who is too deep in love. I see it everyday, when I look into the mirror."

' _She loves him too._ ' Dan thought. He couldn't help but pity himself. He was a fool to think he even had a chance with Phil when a girl prettier than all the girls of his class put together rivaled with Dan for Phil's attention.

"Oh, gods no."

Dan snapped out of his self-pitying thoughts.

"Stop looking so sad! It's not Phil, of course not", she shuddered. "I can't even imagine the boy being my boyfriend. I'm in a nice and stable relationship, don't worry Daniel!"

"Dan, not Daniel."

Sansa grinned. "Okay then, Dan. Look I was brought up in a place where there's a blizzard every other day, so the cold does not bother me. It's you that I worry about."

Dan rolled his eyes. Sansa grabbed Dan's hand and ran up the stairs. "And we still have time left. Let me introduce you to the love of my life."

"Sansa, you're fourteen years old."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (unedited)


End file.
